Losing It
January 29th, 2006
So, I was out with Kev and Matt at Kate O’Brien’s because Dave Shea’s in town. Kev left a bit early, but while I was in the bathroom, it turned out at some point that a vagrant had asked Dave and Matt for a cigarette as we were all sitting off the street, enjoying some drinks curbside. Not being smokers I imagine, they had said no.
As I got back from the bathroom, Matt asked me if I had my cellphone. I quickly patted myself down. Turns out that I didn’t have it at all and I’d definitely left it on the table.
The vagrant had distracted the both of them and had a blanket across themselves. So, as I understand it, in leaning in to ask for a cigarette, they swiped my cellphone in the process. This prompted all of us to go on a manhunt within a block’s radius of the bar — which ultimately ended up fruitless.
S.O.L., I felt defeated — I wanted to find this person and quite honestly, beat the shit out of them for taking advantage of me. I know that sounds like an ultimately violent solution, and it’s probably not the best, but normally I would beat myself up for letting my guard down this low.
It brought me back to the time in my life when I was working from home one day in my apartment in Boerum Hill, Brooklyn, somewhere in 2000 or so. Someone had come down the fire escape to break into the 4 bedroom apartment I had shared through my bedroom window. At first, I was confused, until I realized what was actually happening. Luckily, I was home and had a softball bat within reach.
As soon as I locked eyes with the perp through my window, I didn’t think — I bounded after them without any regard for my safety and scaled the fire escape. I ran up toward the roof after them, chasing them with my bat until out of sight.
It was undoubtedly crazy of me. If they had a gun, I’d be dead today, of course.
I can’t describe that type of anger you feel — you feel so violated that you only want to lash out harder so that they never.fucking.do.that.shit.again.to.anybody.
The other month, Tantek linked to Halcyon’s Optimism Tax, which I found hopeful of mankind, even when faced with the incomprehensibility of some human beings. When I read this essay then, I thought it was poignant. In this moment for me, right now? Even moreso.
So, if you have my number with the New York City area code… don’t call it or text message it for a bit… I won’t get it.
I still hate January.
Entry Filed under: Bubble & Scrape, Note to Self
14 Comments Add your own
1. Tantek | January 29th, 2006 at 9:34 am
That really sucks. And annyoing too. And people wonder where the “backlash” against homeless/vagrants comes from.
Another way to look at this is - consider this an opportunity to upgrade your phone. You can get a new phone (keep the same number) and the stolen phone becomes instantly useless (of course who knows how many calls the vagrant has made by then, that said, there’s probably some potential social network engineering you could do by obtaining the most recent numbers called from your phone, and using them to figure out the identity of the perp).
Or simply consider the cost of new phone (and/or breaking your current service contract) the optimism tax in this instance. That thief is so not worth your peace of mind and emotional well-being, and perhaps most importantly, your time.
Happy shopping,
Tantek
2. TJ | January 29th, 2006 at 11:28 am
I’m with you. Only three days, though. And remember to say “rabbit, rabbit” on the 1st!
3. Jason D- | January 29th, 2006 at 6:36 pm
Yeah, if I ever found whoever walked off with my camera I’d probably still need a new one cause I’d use it to bash their skull into the ground. Fuckers. I feel for ya.
4. r.pad | January 29th, 2006 at 11:10 pm
Hey dorko,
I bought A’s tickets for the second and third Yankee games in April. I left you a VM on your stolen phone about it…of course, I didn’t know it was stolen at the time.
5. rob | January 30th, 2006 at 10:05 am
that’s awful. if it’s any consolation at all, there’s a story in the news down here about a guy who had both of his prosthetic feet stolen out of his van while he was on the beach. can you imagine coming back to your car to find that your feet had been stolen?
6. Jesse! | January 30th, 2006 at 1:35 pm
Sucks, G… I feel for ya… you should temp. stop service on it for now regardless of what you do…
7. Eric | January 30th, 2006 at 2:07 pm
Damn - and I’d love to have watched you get all medieval on somebody! I’m gonna have to bring my favorite Thug Thumper next time I come for a visit.
-E
8. Chris | January 30th, 2006 at 10:12 pm
That’s terrible, Glenda. I’m so sorry to hear that.
9. Manny | January 31st, 2006 at 4:33 am
I absolutely hear what you are sayin Glenda… I often feel that way about lesser things sometimes. Although I am quiet and try to be reserved, inside I feel like ripping people’s throats out. Some wont think twice to take advantage of you and shit on you… Ugh now Im pissed. Sorry about your loss…
10. Andy | January 31st, 2006 at 4:53 pm
That sucks.
I felt the same way when someone ganked my hood ornament last week. I chalked it up to Karmic retribution.
11. Guy Real | February 1st, 2006 at 12:29 pm
your blessed enouph to have enouph to replace the phone immediatly, maybe that was all the event was for to remind you of that.
My mom told me a story where this big guy tried to steal her purse, she was a nurse so she pulled out a pair of sissors and chased hime down the street, but the funny thing is she was only 5ft 1 and weight 110 lbs chasing a 6ft tall hood down the street.
be safe
12. Mikey | February 2nd, 2006 at 8:54 am
So sorry, Glenda Jayne. Sucks.
Reminds me of the time I came out of work at 2 in the morning after a bartending shift and found a guy rumaging through my car. This was right out in front of the bar, mind you. I was with the bouncer and two other bartenders. The bouncer wanted to trounce the guy. I actually had to be the voice of reason. The guy, shaking in his boots, started giving me back everything he had taken from my car (which had nothing of real value in it). He pulled out my phone charger, my tire air guage, three or four pens, a road map, less than a buck in change, and two half-smoked cigarettes. I couldn’t believe this was what the guy was stealing from me. I actually felt bad for the bastard. I hate that feeling of being violated like that, but in this instance is was so surreal to see a dude sticking out of my car like he was, that I didn’t feel any sort of violent urges toward him.
Anyway, reminds me of this scene from Field of Dreams
Terence Mann: I’m going to beat you with a crowbar until you leave.
Ray Kinsella: You can’t do that.
Terence Mann: There are rules here? No, there are no rules here. [advances with crowbar]
Ray Kinsella: You’re a pacifist!
Terence Mann: [stops] Shit.
13. Matt | February 6th, 2006 at 3:49 pm
Hey! January is over. :)
14. suki | February 13th, 2006 at 10:59 am
That really sucks. Good thing it’s not January anymore…
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