Posts filed under 'Note to Self'
So, I was out with Kev and Matt at Kate O’Brien’s because Dave Shea’s in town. Kev left a bit early, but while I was in the bathroom, it turned out at some point that a vagrant had asked Dave and Matt for a cigarette as we were all sitting off the street, enjoying some drinks curbside. Not being smokers I imagine, they had said no.
As I got back from the bathroom, Matt asked me if I had my cellphone. I quickly patted myself down. Turns out that I didn’t have it at all and I’d definitely left it on the table.
The vagrant had distracted the both of them and had a blanket across themselves. So, as I understand it, in leaning in to ask for a cigarette, they swiped my cellphone in the process. This prompted all of us to go on a manhunt within a block’s radius of the bar — which ultimately ended up fruitless.
S.O.L., I felt defeated — I wanted to find this person and quite honestly, beat the shit out of them for taking advantage of me. I know that sounds like an ultimately violent solution, and it’s probably not the best, but normally I would beat myself up for letting my guard down this low.
It brought me back to the time in my life when I was working from home one day in my apartment in Boerum Hill, Brooklyn, somewhere in 2000 or so. Someone had come down the fire escape to break into the 4 bedroom apartment I had shared through my bedroom window. At first, I was confused, until I realized what was actually happening. Luckily, I was home and had a softball bat within reach.
As soon as I locked eyes with the perp through my window, I didn’t think — I bounded after them without any regard for my safety and scaled the fire escape. I ran up toward the roof after them, chasing them with my bat until out of sight.
It was undoubtedly crazy of me. If they had a gun, I’d be dead today, of course.
I can’t describe that type of anger you feel — you feel so violated that you only want to lash out harder so that they never.fucking.do.that.shit.again.to.anybody.
The other month, Tantek linked to Halcyon’s Optimism Tax, which I found hopeful of mankind, even when faced with the incomprehensibility of some human beings. When I read this essay then, I thought it was poignant. In this moment for me, right now? Even moreso.
So, if you have my number with the New York City area code… don’t call it or text message it for a bit… I won’t get it.
I still hate January.
January 29th, 2006
In reference to the previous post of me dancing backup at the Miss Trannyshack pageant, COCO CANAL IS MISS TRANNYSHACK 2005!!! That means that we won!!!
So that was me dancing backup to Christina Aguilera’s “Dirrty.” I think I exposed more flesh than I ever have during a public performance than I would ever like to again. I feel so… silly.
That being said, honestly, there were so many great acts that I was witness to that I started to get really psyched out. I mean, when someone comes out with stiltwalkers with fire torches and all and is suspended in mid-air, swinging by their bare flesh next to a large burning bramble, and goes through two very elaborate wardrobe changes, you begin to wonder what kind of chance you exactly have and if you actually have one. I mean, who wants to follow something like that up? I’m actually kind of shocked.
So what does this mean for me? Welp, absolutely nothing, BUT! What it means for Coco Canal is that she gets to go to London and perform as Miss Trannyshack and all, and host Trannyshack every week when she’s not off on all sorts of Miss America-like activities and things.
It was really great to be part of something so fun. I didn’t expect a lot out of it, but really, the win was the icing on the cake. That type of stuff is just the best feeling… giving it your best but not really expecting it to go anywhere, only to be pleasantly surprised with the results.
I have to make a mental note to do these types of things much more often. They lead me in odd directions, but always with surprising and happy results.
You know what was really cool? Meeting the chick that played Joan of Arc in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.
Just kidding. Yes, that was Jane Wiedlin, and I just said hi to her for a split second, then turned all shy and stupid and went on my merry way.
November 20th, 2005
For a little over two weeks, I’ve been rehearsing a modern dance number for the Miss Trannyshack Pageant. Not that I’m in the pageant (though that really would be something), but I’m dancing backup for one of the fly drag queens competing for the crown this year.
Boy, will that be something. (No puns intended.)
The pageant is in its’ 10th year and has been sold out each year it has been in existence. If you’re in SF on Saturday night, it’s worth a definite look as I believe 10,000 people will be there. It’ll cost 30 wavos at the door at The Regency Grand Ballroom (1300 Van Ness @ Sutter)… ahead of time, it’s $20 with fees (go here for more information on how to get tickets before the show) and it starts at 8:30PM.
Yeah, these shoes don’t look the most comfortable, do they. That’s a 4-inch stiletto on the left, and a 5-inch platform on the right. Whichever I pick, I’m going to dance a whole four to five strenous minutes… hopefully without busting my face open.
I’m pretty sure that since this is a pageant, I’m not supposed to say anything before the event about which drag queen contestant I’m dancing backup for, how many people are in the act, or what song we are doing — anything like that. What I will say, however, is that it felt really good to be doing something other than staring at a monitor or drinking beer (or both), which was one of the reasons I agreed to do it in the first place. The second was really — well… I was fortunate enough to be offered the opportunity to move from New York two years ago, and it would be just awful to not experience something like this, especially as a performer.
I’m really going to go all out tomorrow night, and you probably won’t believe what I’m doing (because it’s really in contrast to the way I “normally” am). I’ve worked really hard, but everyone else in the number, admittedly is probably going to put in WAY more than me. It’s going to be fun for not only me, but I’m sure the show is going to be amazing for all who watch too.
I hope to see you there!
November 18th, 2005
It explains everything and nothing all at once in my life — sort of like farting in a windstorm, I think.
Ha.
November 14th, 2005
I’ve been placing myself under house arrest before SXSW because I have to a whole load of stuff I’ve really been neglecting here on the homefront hardcore, and it’s been nice to spend some time at the house hanging out by myself. Jonas stopped by my house last night on his way home from work as a welcome break from the normal routine, and we’d decided to go out and get some snacks. We sped off in his Jeep with the iPod blasting industrial music and upon arriving at the local old tyme hamburger joint, I ordered myself a nice cookie dough milkshake. Admittedly, though I would have much rather shirked all responsibility and hung out with Jonas the whole time, the dry cycle in my horrible dryer had been calling me all night.
I bid Jonas farewell and went back to my four loads of laundry, reluctantly.
When I do a load of laundry, I have this habit of never emptying pockets before I toss something into the washer. I’m simply that lazy. When I wear clothes that I’ve just laundered, like today for example, I reach into my pockets and find linty paper remnants that I can’t make out at all. I often wonder what they are. Are they business cards? Receipts? Notes I’d jotted down to remember later? Fortunes from fortune cookies?
I like to imagine that when I reach into my pocket and pull out one of those linty blobs that I’ve lost a piece of wisdom that I was meant to have somehow. All it is, it seems to me, is a puzzle piece — a fragment of an idea I’d lost, and thought was worth keeping for some reason. The interesting question is the “why” of why I’d saved it, when I could have simply thrown it into the nearest trash can.
March 8th, 2005
If you thought it was just you, it’s not.
Continue Reading March 2nd, 2005
Lately, I’ve been having a conversation-a-plenty regarding an age-old topic I tend to bring up. It goes a little something like this:
You can always tell a guy by his favorite childhood superhero.
This is true. Don’t try and test me, because you know what? Your attempts will fail miserably, puny human.
Continue Reading February 24th, 2005
As a result of messing around with a function on Miki’s IM profile:
Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
#311: It’s funny how two simple words, “I promise,” will stall people for a while.
You can add Deep Thoughts to your AIM by clicking here.
September 19th, 2003
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